is it a johnny depp quote when he says "if u ever are in love w 2 ppl at once, choose the second one cuz if u rly loved the first one u wouldn't have fallen for the second person" ? i resonated with that so well when i first saw the words on my computer screen but then again i was also a skeptic and believed loving someone can only be ur downfall bc being soft enough 2 fall in love means being fragile enough 2 break and i have been broken too many times to let that happen again so i was doing the No Feelings thing but maybe i was purposely numbing myself w emotional anesthetic bc i knew what would happen if i wasn't careful and somehow in between all of that i ended up feelin something a lil more than just OK

so why was it not right then and why did i spiral into a completely different wave and why did i change my mind and why did things change and so i listenedto johnny depp cuz he made sense back then when i didn't even believe in Love so hes gotta be right this time too right

and i think i am happy or i thought i was and wait i still think i am but then why do i keep going back to winter and back then and why am i still attached to the idea of what i used to feel and now i am thinking did i fuck it up and should i have listened to johnny depp after all